Untangling Codependency: How It Starts, How It Shows Up, and How We Heal
Codependency is one of those buzzwords we hear thrown around—but many people don’t realize just how deeply it can shape our lives and relationships. In this episode of Sessions for the Soul, we unpack what codependency really is, how it forms, and what healing looks like—especially when it’s been passed down through generations.
Whether you’ve been the caretaker, the peacekeeper, the one who never quite knew where you ended and others began… this one’s for you.
What Is Codependency, Really?
Textbook definitions say codependency is emotional reliance on another person—often someone who is struggling with addiction. But it goes much deeper than that. Codependency shows up in people-pleasing, blurred emotional boundaries, a fear of abandonment, and an internalized belief that our worth is tied to how much we do for others.
It’s the feeling of being responsible for someone else’s emotions.
It’s regulating other people instead of yourself.
It’s sacrificing your needs over and over until your body starts to scream.
And often? It starts in childhood.
The Generational Roots of Codependency
Codependency doesn’t just appear out of nowhere. Many of us learned it by watching our parents, who learned it from theirs. It can be rooted in addiction, but also in broader family dynamics: emotional immaturity, trauma, or even cultural experiences like immigration, where survival depended on closeness and caretaking.
The twist? These patterns may have protected us as kids—but they often sabotage us as adults.
Common Signs of Codependency
Chronic people-pleasing
Difficulty setting boundaries
A sense of obligation to "fix" others
Low self-worth
Constant emotional burnout
Resentment—but without knowing why
These signs aren’t always obvious. Many codependent people are praised for being “so selfless” or “always there for everyone.” But underneath, there’s often deep exhaustion, emotional confusion, and a loss of self.
Why It’s So Hard to Leave Codependent Dynamics
It’s easy to say “just set boundaries” or “just walk away”—but for someone caught in codependency, the emotional chains feel real. There’s often love involved, which makes the dynamic harder to untangle. You might be the prisoner and the guard, holding the key but feeling unable to leave.
It’s not just about independence—it’s about learning that your needs matter too.
Healing Looks Like Interdependence
The antidote to codependency isn’t isolation. It’s interdependence: relationships rooted in truth, autonomy, and mutual respect. That means:
Knowing where you end and someone else begins
Saying how you really feel—even if it’s uncomfortable
Recognizing that someone else’s feelings aren’t your responsibility
Choosing connection without abandoning yourself
One powerful reframe from the episode? Truth over people-pleasing. Because when you sacrifice honesty for harmony, you’re not really in connection—you’re just maintaining a pattern.
Moving Forward with Self-Worth
Codependency healing always comes back to self-worth. When you believe you are worthy—not for what you do, fix, or sacrifice, but just because you are—everything starts to shift. You set boundaries. You speak your truth. You begin to choose relationships that honor you instead of drain you.
And you begin to break the cycle—not just for you, but for everyone who comes after you.
You don’t have to earn your worth. You already are worthy.
And that is the foundation of healing.
Ready to dive deeper?
Listen to the full podcast episode to learn more about codependency, people pleasing patterns, and how to begin building healthy relationships.
